Android People: Part 2 of 1
Surprise! Miracles do happen, after all.
Thanks to all who have prayed for my Apple-hating husband after reading about our phone-related marital strife. Some of you lacked the faith to pray for his poor soul, thinking he was too far gone. After all, if a man is unmoved even after his wife posts a witty, winsome plea on the public internet, what could possibly change his Android-loving ways?
The answer: His Android phone being struck by the power of God.
Cory hid his phone problems from me for a while, as the screen started glitching and apps stopped responding. I only caught on after receiving messages from him while he sat next to me on the couch, messages he’d sent days before.
“So, what’s your favorite thing about iPhones?” he asked one evening, feigning nonchalance.
My answer: Siri. She is so smart! She updates my contacts for me, sets reminders for me, and even sends messages for me. The Google Assistant doesn’t do as much stuff, and she’s also way less polite than Siri.
But this is not what I told Cory. No, best not to blow what could be my only shot by singing the praises of an electronic voice that he probably wouldn’t even use. This situation called for some persuasive finesse.
“Well, you can configure as many silent modes as you want, and you can even have the phone go silent automatically when you arrive at work.”
I also feigned nonchalance, and interest in an iPhone feature I don’t even use.
“Plus, if you location share with me, you’ll never have to message me when you’re about to leave work. Never.”
Cory’s Android phone finally got to the point of being totally, completely unusable. He grumbled, and groaned, and sighed.
And then, he bought an iPhone.
Here is the unboxing, in which Cory maintains his hatred of Apple products by hiding the logo from me as quickly as possible:
(Please excuse the gaping hole in our ceiling where a light is supposed to be. Lights are not a huge priority around here.)
The first thing Cory wanted to do with his new phone? Figure out how to keep looking like a green bubble to all of his friends.
Most answers to prayers about my migraines are still in transit. (I refresh the tracking page multiple times a day, still no ETA.) Nevertheless, I’m glad the iPhone-related prayers were answered by priority mail. I think this next chapter in our marriage will be a happy one.
Hey Siri, send Cory a poop emoji.
NEW THING! Discussion Questions
(Answer any/all in the comments section on Substack, or by replying to the email.)
What SUPER AWESOME iPhone features will Cory love? (Wrong answers also accepted.)
Do you have a friend/family member/partner who is holding out on getting an iPhone? How are you surviving?
Which memoji should I use when messaging Cory today?
This is so interesting, I grew up in an Apple family but my boyfriend is a huge Android fan, and he's convinced me to get on the Pixel train, and so far I can't say I've been disappointed!
AirPods and Find My for said AirPods (or tags, or wife…). We set up a whole family group in there so we can always creep on how late sister #1 is going to be to every family gathering and what mischief nephew is getting up to.