My husband and I arrived to our cabin two days ago for a much-needed vacation. Between my many medical appointments and the other people that stay at the cabin (we operate it as a spiritual retreat center), our visits are usually infrequent and short. But we’ve had a very tiring past few months, so we recently decided to set aside an entire week to come up here and recharge.
The drive up was beautiful. The wildflowers and cherry trees are in bloom in California, and they’re particularly stunning this year because we’ve had so much rain. The oak trees on our property are still bare, but when we arrived the bright blue sky held the vibrant energy of spring. It felt as if leaves could appear on the spindly branches at any moment.
I often struggle on the first few days of any vacation, but this time around, my body really outdid itself. I didn’t fall asleep until very late on our first night, because of a migraine, and I woke up very early the next morning, because of a UTI that came out of nowhere. This was not my first untimely UTI, and I doubt it will be my last. I messaged my doctor back in San Francisco, begging her to have mercy on my soul and just prescribe antibiotics, but I didn’t hear back from her. Since it was a Friday, and I didn’t want to be miserable all weekend, we spent most of the afternoon driving around the county to find an urgent care that would let me pee in a cup.
It’s times like these that I wish there was a VIP medical care all-access card for chronically ill people. The VIP card would enable the bearer to prescribe themselves a variety of basic drugs, allow them to skip all waiting rooms, and cover incidentals such as snacks, drinks, and parking fees. (Does Europe have something like this already? If so, I’m moving to Europe.)
Today’s drawing was supposed to be something much funnier, but alas, I didn’t have the creative oomph. So instead, here’s a sketch from my first day of spring break. It brings to mind one of my favorite poems, “Wrote in an Ill State of Health in the Spring,” by Anne Steele.
Inclement winter now resigns his pow'r,
And gentle spring begins her placid reign.
The sun, with genial warmth, awakes to life
The herbs and flowers, whose soft distilling rains
His kindly influence aid, and clothe the fields
With springing verdure; to the industrious swain
The pleasing promise of a plenteous harvest.
The trees, long stripp'd of all their leafy honours,
Shoot out anew, and with the charming season
Advancing still, unfold their annual beauties.
All nature smiles!—But I, alas, am sad!In vain, the woods and fields resume their charms!
In vain the feather'd warblers tune their songs!
To me 'tis all a blank! untouch'd my soul
With nature's harmony! my eyes, uncharm'd
With all her beauties, cannot find a joy
In the once lovely, once delightful scene!
A gloom of sadness hangs upon my spirits.
And prompts the frequent sigh and silent tear.
Depressed by pain and sickness, all my powers
Are dull and languid, every joy is tasteless;
All nature fades, and pleasure is no more!Ah! what is life, so lov'd, so dearly priz'd,
If health be absent? 'tis a ling'ring night
Of tedious expectation, spent in sighs,
And restless wishes for the cheerful dawn…Ah! where is faith? her heav'n-illumin'd eye
Could pierce the mental night, could raise the mind
Which sinks dejected, and beyond the gloom
Direct to fairer scenes: come, guest divine,
O come, and in thy train, let fortitude
Her useful succours bring, and meek-ey'd patience,
And smiling hope, and sweet content appear.
And let my heart with calm submission wait
Heaven's destin'd time, to hail the glad return
Of health, the best and sweetest earthly blessing…
Thanks for reading, friends! I’ll be back soon with another essay, or maybe even a little piece of satire I’ve been working on, but I’d love to hear from you in the meantime. Also, if you haven’t seen my recent book review in
, you can check it out here. 🧠
Your strength and talent amaze me!
Ah the comfort of a dog blob when sick... few things are better (especially if you have someone else who can walk them)!